Me: Baby, I need your help with my writing assignment this week. I’m supposed to come up with positive keywords abt myself to help me understand who I’m writing for, my target audience. I already asked [the usual suspects], but I forgot you.

Matt: [wondering if this is a trap] Okaaaaaaay.

Me: They have to be positive keywords! Positive. Keywords.

Matt: [smiles completely unironically] Well, you do a good butt-dance….